The Cheat’s Guide to Cambridge

Whether you’re about to start your studies at Cambridge or just want to know a bit about this ancient university, here’s the low-down in 7 easy steps.

View of Clare from King’s Bridge

1 Cambridge is a collegiate university and, no, the 31 colleges are not all the same. The oldest is Peterhouse, founded in 1284, while Robinson only dates from 1977.

Inside Caius College (full name: Gonville & Caius)

There are postgrad-only colleges (Clare Hall and Darwin), four colleges specifically for mature students, and two only for women (Newnham and Murray Edwards).

Newnham College

Mixed colleges are a fairly recent introduction. Until 1972, the vast majority of colleges were all male. With a sex ratio of 10 to one, it was much harder for a woman to get a place. If she wanted male company once she got into Cambridge, however, all she had to do was show up and breathe.

Each college has a bespoke woollen scarf in college colours. Whichever college you attend, the scarf is very scratchy.

Newnham Bear in college scarf

2 There are no mountains between Cambridge and the Urals, so winters can be chilly. Thanks to the easterly winds, most students sport a cold wet nose by November. It’s said to be a sign of good health in animals, though not in undergraduates.

3 Geography is generally ignored. Most people still call Cambridge a town though it’s actually a city. Although it is very flat, one still goes UP to Cambridge and DOWN to London. Nobody ever mentions Oxford, or they simply call it ‘the other place.’ Should you be forced to write it down, it’s traditional to use a lower case O for its name. This petty snobbishness is totally misplaced because Cambridge University was founded by scholars who fled Oxford.

Outside Great St Mary’s Church

4 The Cambridge Union is not a union. It’s a debating society. There was no students’ union at all until 1971, and even then it had no premises for its members, just a tiny office for those who ran it. It was in Round Church St, an address many dossers knew well as they turned up regularly for handouts.

5 You’re here to learn? Oh, right. Well, in that case you need to know that the Faculty or Department arranges your lectures, seminars, and lab work. Your college arranges small group sessions called supervisions which take place in the college, or in university buildings. And accommodation is almost always within college.

Where the atom was split

Each broad subject area is called a Tripos, eg Economics Tripos, Natural Sciences Tripos (which includes subjects from Physics to Cell Biology). These are divided into parts and students complete a number of parts in one or more Triposes to qualify for the BA degree. Yes, the basic degree is BA Hons whether you’re reading sciences or arts. Hold on to it for another few years, and it upgrades to an MA without any further study.

The word Tripos is so popular that end of year exams are also called Tripos. The name comes from the three-legged stool exam candidates used to sit on.

In BA gown & hood on Degree Day

6 From April to about October, cattle graze on picture-perfect common land within the City of Cambridge. It’s all very well wandering about with your nose in the air and your mind on higher things, but watch where you put your feet. Best look behind you now and again too, in case you’re being followed.

This cow wandered into a stream to cool off and she’s now munching watercress while a man serenades her with his violin.

7 Pets aren’t generally welcome in College, though, especially not dogs. When Lord Byron was forbidden to keep a dog, he got himself a bear for his room in Trinity. More recently, the Master of Selwyn was only allowed his basset hound when the College Council ruled that Yoyo was, in fact, a very large cat. I don’t know what they thought of its ears.

Welcome to Cambridge!

King’s College Chapel seen from the Backs on a frosty morning

Memories of Beirut

Explosions are nothing new in Beirut. My childhood visits to the city were punctuated by car bombs. I’d grab my mother’s hand and ask why. Usually there was an election on. Lebanese elections were not always orderly, and the many factions were particularly competitive in the 1960s.

But none of those explosions came close to this week’s huge blast, said to have been felt as far away as Cyprus. It was the very last thing this debt-stricken country needed.

Photo by H Assaf from FreeImages

My grandfather’s family came from Ehden, then just a small mountain town in North Lebanon, not far from Tripoli. The Arabic name for Tripoli is Troublos which tells you a lot about the country. The history of Lebanon has been nothing if not turbulent. And yet there was so much to admire and enjoy, as any Lebanese person will gladly tell you, in great detail.

Photo by <a href="/photographer/timot-37385">Csaba Moldovan</a> from <a href="https://freeimages.com/">FreeImages</a>

This tiny country boasts (I use the word advisedly) snow-capped mountains and bright blue sea. Why, you could ski in the morning and water-ski in the afternoon. And did you know that St George slayed the dragon right near the centre of Beirut, in St George’s Bay?

Until civil war began in the 1970s, Beirut was the Paris of the Middle East. The main cultural influence was French and the city was famed for its night life, restaurants, glamour, intellectual society, and tourism. Scratch that. It was the Paris of the entire world.

Photo by José A. Warletta from FreeImages

I’ll bet you never realized that the Lebanese invented online shopping. Why, even 50 years ago, I saw housewives lowering their baskets on a line from their balconies down to street level, their order either written on a list in the basket or, more often, relayed at full volume to the shopkeeper below.

As for taxis, Beirut pioneered the ‘service’ type which is a shared cab and much cheaper than regular taxis. To find a service, all you do is stand at a corner and a service driver will screech to a stop and carry you off, even if all you wanted was to cross the street. You might share a ride with a Maronite priest, a tourist, a student, a huge housewife clutching bunches of herbs, or whoever happened to be standing there. The drivers all drive with one hand out the window, the other giving you back your change, and the head turned back to see if you are happy. You’d better be, because if you’re not, they’ll sing along with the music on the radio and never look at the road again. There are fewer accidents than you’d expect. Every chauffeur has a string of blue beads hanging over the mirror to keep the Evil Eye and other drivers at bay.

I recall being disappointed with the Cedars. There were only about 40 of them left, and locals happened to be using them at the time to hang carcasses of various animals they were selling. But not far away there was a magnificent picnic spot by a stream. I drank from it with my hands and it was the iciest and best water I had ever tasted.

Photo by Edith Hdz from FreeImages

There’s no shortage of historic sights in Lebanon, so it puzzled me that for many years their postage stamps bore not photos of ancient monuments but images of fruit. Then again, the Lebanese are big on food. Nothing in Lebanon is small, except the country itself which is half the size of Israel.

Over the years, many Lebanese have left the country for bigger pastures. New York has long been a favourite. The city never sleeps and everything in the USA, especially the steaks, are twice as big as they should be, so it’s the natural destination for a young person making their way in life. The Lebanese have a deserved reputation for being good at making money, and a great many of them have succeeded in the New World.

I won’t even try to unpick the current economic situation which was dire even before this massive explosion. There’s no hope of ever recreating Beirut’s former glory, but there’s every reason to save as many lives as possible. My own cousins living near Beirut are safe. Thousands weren’t so lucky.

If you can, please help. The Lebanese Red Cross is non-partisan and is a good place to start.