Freshers’ Week is a bit like the 60s – if you can remember it all, you weren’t there. So these glimpses will have to do:

1 Mists and mellow fruitfulness.

2 Not knowing where anything is, and trying to get there by bike, if you can remember which one’s yours.

3 Existentialist conversations with a swan.

4 Signing up for everything at the Freshers’ Fair.

5 Blood-red Virginia creeper.

6 Smiling at everyone in case one of them becomes your best friend.

7 Buying lots of instant coffee and biscuits for all your new friends.

8 Ridiculously cheap booze at the Freshers’ Disco.

9 Kebabs and puke.

10 Reinventing yourself (because you can).

11 Staying up till 3 a.m. (because lectures haven’t started yet).

12 Getting a meningitis jab (because it’s really important).

So many new beginnings, but for some things it’s an end. Goodbye, Strachey Building. I won’t be there on Friday when the wrecking ball comes for you and the Porters’ Lodge.